


Do Not Throw Away Your Shot

by Terra_Banks



Category: The Queen's Gambit (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Chess Metaphors, Drinking Games, F/M, Not Canon Compliant, Shots Chess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:40:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28117839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Terra_Banks/pseuds/Terra_Banks
Summary: "What if I said, 'go ahead, get drunk'? Would you come then?" Beth goes to Benny in New York after Paris.
Relationships: Beth Harmon/Benny Watts
Comments: 26
Kudos: 114





	1. Opening - Benny

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by this amazing fan vid by quinn darley that you can watch [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmQgWLHRcv8)
> 
> Shoutout to 'sadas' on Youtube who pointed out in a comment section that Beth and Cleo had played this game during their wild night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was really hard to stick to one perspective because I just love these two so much.

_I was drunk again, causing accidents._  
_Oh, you're not a friend, no, you're nothing._  
_I think I should be a little more confident in myself, in my skin._

**\- Home by Daughter**  


* * *

Benny had a plan. He had somehow managed to convince her to land in New York and he was not about to squander that good fortune by trying to lay blame or talk down to her. Beth didn't respond well to attacks; she was the aggressive player after all.

Fortunately, he specialized in strategy. As written in _Openings & Tactics_, he decided the endgame first. He knew he could never get her to put her health or his advice first, but chess was what drove them- their mutual reason for existence. He needed Beth to realize on her own that it was still possible for her to beat Borgov and that intoxication was contradictory to that goal.

Planning your opponent's endgame was not viable on the board but given how well Benny knew Beth outside of that, he thought he might be able to maneuver the middle game to the point where she can see the play. After that, it would be up to her on whether she would commit to the path.

She would be here in a few hours so he had to hustle for the supplies he would need. He called up a friend of his who worked at a hotel and made his request. Upon confirmation, he went by and completed the transaction. After taking the goods back to his apartment, he took a short nap to conserve his energy and set off for the airport afterwards.

Beth walked out looking quite underdressed for her usual standards, in solid black shirt and pants with a coat to match. Judging from the same single suitcase she had flown out with, she hadn't even done too much shopping in Paris. Something was clearly wrong, but Benny decided that his opening would be to act normally.

"You certainly look Parisian. Sure you don't want to change your citizenship and give me the title back?" He jested, moving to grab her bag and stow it in his trunk.

"I think you haven't been to Paris in a while if you think this is how they dress nowadays." She quipped back, settling in the passenger seat. That was good. She was at least putting up the façade despite being dressed for a funeral.

On the drive back, he asked her about how she found the city and steered well away from the tournament itself. Anyone else might have found their conversation normal but they both knew better.

When they arrived, she hesitated at the steps down to his basement abode, but he just went ahead with her luggage, confident that she would follow in her own time.

He set her bags down in the living room and sat down at the folding table. She walked in and closed the door behind her, the tumble of the lock echoing through the apartment. Her eyes swept the apartment methodically, like she did a board, scanning for positions and possibilities.

When she finished her assessment, she sat down across from him, a chess board between them.

"So what now?" She asked, assuming her signature pose of propping her chin on her interlaced fingers.

"Can I see the game?" He broached. They both knew which one he meant; the one she bombed on with Borgov.

She went to make the first move, but he stopped her. "Wait."

"What?" She huffed, probably irritated at his interruption she was acquiring to his request.

"I have an idea." He began to put aside the chess pieces and she helped him, unsure where this was going. He pulled out tiny liquor bottles from a nearby bag, the shot size kind you could only find in minibars, setting them up on the squares.

Beth seemed taken aback.

"This is called shots chess." He provided, thinking she was unfamiliar with the concept.

"I know how to play, Benny." She said curtly before he could launch into a full explanation. "Are you punishing me?"

Now he was the confused one. "This is what you wanted to do, Beth. You said so yourself. I figured two birds, one stone."

She contemplated the board before clearing her throat and trying to be casual. "I played this in Paris."

"Oh, yeah?" Was this why she was hungover to the final match? "By yourself?"

Her eyes flicked up at him and she seemed irate at the prod. He was ready to back off, but she answered with pursed lips. "No, Cleo dropped by."

"I see." He tried to bite down on the anger, not at Beth but at Cleo who should have known better than to lead her down the rabbit hole. "Shall we?"

She glanced between the bottles on his side and his face. "You're going to drink those?" She asked, seeming skeptical of his tolerance.

The rule was to drink your captured pieces. The game had ended with eleven pieces of white captured and ten pieces of black captured, he knew that much. In fact, if they just waited till morning, he could read the game in the newspaper, but they weren't playing for his sake.

"Well I can't let you have all the fun." He smirked, trying to egg her on past her doubts. He was touched by her concern.

When she didn't budge, he gave a concession. "We can play skip style- drink every other piece."

That seemed to be enough to convince her. She shrugged her coat off on the chair and made the first move.


	2. Middle Game - Beth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be terrible chess play so forgive me if it is. At the start of the scene, the board looks like [ this](https://bingereviewer.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/Paris-Match.jpeg).

  
_'Cause I don't stand a chance in these four walls._   
_And he don't recognize me anymore._   
_Burned out flames should never re-ignite but I thought you might..._

**\- Home by Daughter**

* * *

"See, he had my king pinned! There was nothing I could do!" Beth exclaimed. 

They had made it to the end of the match, the point where Beth had made a fickle move and given up. They were both far from sober but not completely hammered either.

Benny examined the board. "What did you do?" He asked.

She showed him how she moved the Rook to the other side of the board next to her Queen's Rook pawn that was still in its starting position.

He shook his head. "What was the point of that? The Rook was blocking his Queen from advancing on your King. It doesn't help you over here instead."

"I don't know! I had to do something, and I couldn't think." She shouted, remembering the moment of panic.

"Okay." He said calmly, moving the Rook back to its previous position. "You're right, the King can't move next. If we are gonna free him, we need a distraction."

She could tell he was posing it as a chess problem for them to solve rather a mistake of hers to correct. She pouted but gave a small nod.

Encouraged, he began to speculate. "What about this pawn? Can we get it promoted?"

"It's 5 squares away with no protection. The Queen can just take it at the second last square without repositioning beforehand."

"Let's just try it. You play black." He pushed the pawn forward. She decided to chase with the King.

Benny promoted the pawn to a Queen and Beth promptly captured the new Queen with the black King.

"What was the point of that?" She asked.

"Now the King is out in the open." He replied. He attacked her King with his Rook, moving it across the board to land on the same file as the King.

She moved her Queen in front of the King to block. He defended his Rook by fianchettoing his Bishop. The Queen was now pinned. She couldn't take the Rook without losing her Queen to the Bishop and she couldn't take the Bishop without exposing her King.

"What would he do here?" She thought aloud.

"Forget about Borgov." He dismissed. "What would you do here?"

She moved her Rook behind his, setting up an exchange of Rooks. He paused to examine the board and then proceeded to take her Rook. His Queen then took his. 

"Now what?" She asked.

He moved his King forward and right to KR6. She moved the Queen across the second rank to attack. He moved forward and left to KN7 to dodge.

She chased by moving her Queen right next to his King, defended by her Bishop. He moved back and right to KB6.

Again, she moved her Queen next to his King. He retreated his king to K5.

She could no longer follow him with her Queen as that would lead to his bishop capturing her Queen. Instead, she advanced her pawn to attack him. His Bishop took the pawn.

The Queen could not take the Bishop without getting captured by the King. She moved her Bishop to KN4 to give her Queen room to advance on the King.

The King captured her last pawn. The Queen attacked the King adjacently, defended by her Bishop from behind.

The King hid behind his Bishop. The Queen advanced to where the King had previously been, checking him once more.

The King moved sideways to KR6 since it was the only option. The King was pinned. No more moves left for it. Just as had been the case at the beginning.

Beth moved her black King toward the Bishop to take it out and end this. Benny moved his Bishop in front of her Queen, defended by the King.

Beth moved her Bishop forward to begin casting a Bishop-Queen mating net. Benny laid down his King, seeing that there were no moves left to create a draw. 

Beth looked smug at having been proven right. "Do you see it now?" She asked him as she had once asked Harry Beltik. 

"You should have resigned before you moved the Rook." He replied.

"If you knew that already then why did we bother with this?" She exclaimed.

"I wanted you to feel the win for yourself." For a moment, she had forgotten that she was the actual loser of this game. She looked at the new bottles set aside and realized she had stopped drinking when she was supposed to.

"I lost, Benny." She said, feeling small again.

"I know, Beth." He said softly. "But you learn more from defeat than you do victory."

Her eyes began to water at his kindness. Benny was not gentle so for him to treat her delicately, she must look fragile.

"I don't want your pity." She told him, crossing her arms across her chest, and leaning back in her seat.

"If that's what you think this is, you don't know me at all." He told her. She didn't get it. What did he want from her?


	3. Endgame - Benny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to contribute to this fandom and I got past a writer's block yesterday. I figured it was 'now or never' and churned this out. Thanks for reading!

_Now he's moving close, my heart in my throat._  
 _I won't say a word, but I think he knows..._  
 _That I've hardly slept since the night he left.  
  
_ _His body always kept mine inside of it._  
 _Keep the nightmares out, give me mouth to mouth._  
 _I can't live without ya, take me to your house._

**\- Home by Daughter**

* * *

"What do you want from me?" She demanded. He could see the upcoming waterworks and he wasn't sure if it was a breakthrough or a break down.

"I want you to see what I see in you." _Greatness_.

"Benny, I'm a mess." She shook her head.

"I was younger than you are now when I lost to him. Do you know what I wish someone had told me back then?" He could see he had her attention, so he continued.

"Hard work gets you a shot but nothing can guarantee victory. You have no control over who wins, who loses and how the story gets told. All you can do is play your best game. Sometimes that's good enough and other days it isn't but you should always try. Regrets are hard to live with."

She blinked, possibly trying to grasp his point.

"Do you know what world champions are made of Beth?" He asked.

"Workmen-like chess and teamwork?" She mock replied, referencing his previous sermon. She always fell back on her wit when she was hiding her hurt.

"You have to want it more than anything and you have it to put it above everything." This was it. He had said everything he could. She had to take the last step herself and decide she was worthy.

"I'm sorry." She said, a lone tear sliding down her face.

"I know." He acknowledged. It wasn't his forgiveness she needed but rather her own.

He got up and went to his room to give her some space. He could only hope she didn't down the rest of the bottles and pass out. He would check on her in a bit. 

He was laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling when the door to his room squeaked open. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah." She got into bed beside him, both fully dressed, and he made room for her.

She turned to her side to face him. "I want to try again." She whispered. "If you'll have me..."

"Yeah?" He affirmed, offering her a place in his arms if that was what she was seeking.

She leaned into his chest, looking up at him. "I might fuck up again."

"Well kid, I guess it's a good thing I am a gambler." That earned him a smile, the first one he managed to pull from her all night. So he added, "And I've learned not to bet against you."

The sound of her laughter felt better than any checkmate.


End file.
